School goes on. I am becoming increasingly sure that this will be my final degree. Although I am finding student life interesting, and it is nice to be more independent, I don't think that PhD is something I want to do.

It is tough to be without real friends. Of course, I like my roommate and my classmates, but I have only known them for a very short time, far too short to consider them real friends. Also, the nature of the program is that there is interaction with a large group of people but for a pretty specific set of things. There are no great bonding experiences like group travel or other special events. Maybe this is just part of growing up. The more you get to know yourself, the less you have in common with those around you. Years ago, there was a time when skateboarding and listening to punk music was a good basis for a friendship. Now, I don't even know what would be. Perhaps the toughest part is that as my friends scatter to various places around the world, it becomes hard to find a place where I feel I am with good friends. Even Vancouver has lost many of my friends lately, although it still retains some very good ones.

It feels like I have been in school a long time now, but I still haven't even finished midterms. I am already feeling stress and fatigue like I very rarely felt in undergrad. Maybe my undergrad was just too easy. My last year at UBC was so fun, but that was partly because my course load was such a joke. Now all my classes are serious, rigorous, and much deeper than anything I have done before. I guess I was expecting this... On the plus side, it has certainly not been boring or routine.

Midterms, or at least the micro and quant ones, are over... well, finance is still to come, but I am not as worried.

Midterms have been a humbling experience. I have studied harder for these midterms than anyother set of midterms that I have ever taken, and I still feel like I have performed worse on them than any other set. The standards are definately much higher here, and so is the competition from the other students. Of course, this environment is a great one for learning, and I know that these high standards and the peer pressure from my classmates has pushed me to work even harder. Maybe I will need to study even harder for finals...

My dad came to visit this weekend. The timing was not great as it was right before a midterm, but we had a good visit. We tried to go to Cambodiana, which is supposed to be the best Cambodian restaurant in town (I don't know why there are so many Cambodian restaurants here...) but it was closed at 8:30. We tried another place down the street and it was also closing... Kingston is still pretty lame. When we finally found a place for dinner, my father talked again about how he finds the political culture in America completely repulsive. This is nothing new from him... although as the Bush presidency continues, his distain becomes more acute. Apart from that he is in good spirits. I wish he would try to excercise more and get his weight down, or perhaps travel a bit less for the sake of his health... Hopefully once he starts to spend more time in Vancouver he will do this.

My life here has become routine. I guess it always happens, but I will describe my routine hear for fear of forgetting it if I do not.
I wake up at around 10, go downstairs and make some breakfast, usually pasta, or now that I have a rice cooker, stir-fry. Then I either take a shower and go to class on days when I have class at 11:30, or I read or go online for an hour before taking my shower on the days when I start later. I then walk the 10 minutes or so to class. Classes usually consist of sitting in a relatively crowded room and franticly taking notes for fear of missing something. Often, I don't understand what I am writing when I am writing it, but I copy it anyway because I know I will have to understand it at some point. After class I will usually go back to the office to work on assignments, study or just hang out if I don't need to do either of the first two. If the pressure is really on, I will go to the library where there are fewer distractions and I can work more efficiently. When I am done for the day, which can be at any time from around 7 to midnight or later, I walk home and cook myself another big meal which I eat while watching cartoons on TV. Around 12 or 1, I will go upstairs and check my email and see if there is anyone online to talk to. Then, I go to bed between 1 and 3 and wake up the next day to do it all again.

For the last two and a half weeks, because of midterms and assignments, this has been my schedual pretty much seven days a week. It is actually a pretty good schedual as it allows me to sleep in while getting all of the work done that needs to get done. On the downside, since my mornings are a right off and I am not done until late, I don't have much time to run errands such as laundry or grocery shopping. These are usually done on weekends, or when they really need to be done. Also, on some nights, usually after a midterm or an assignment, I will go out for a beer with my classmates to celebrate and relax. I am really happy that I am with a good group of people that I like hanging out with.

On the work front, I have not made much progress since school has gotten busy. I am still wating for my interview next month. Lately I have been thinking that even if I don't get that job, that I might continue looking for work in Hong Kong. I am not yet sure of how to do that, but I think that it is probably the place where being a white guy who has an MA in econ and speaks Mandarin. Of course, Toronto is always the default option, but now that I have missed the campus recruiting for all of the major banks, I am not sure how I would go about finding the right job.

Today is nice... no school, no homework... tomorrow it is back to the grindstone...

I have another interview with Goldman Sachs HK! I am pretty excited about that, even though I am still not 100% convinced that it is the best move for me right now. I will be going to Toronto in a few weeks to meet some people who will fly in for the occasion (there will be other people being interviewed, not just me) . In the meantime, I have three midterms, an undetermined number of assignments and other job applications. Things are speeding up fast.

Last weekend I went to Ottawa with my mother and sister. The drive up was good because I had a chance to have a good conversation with my mom and sister. I had to convince them that math is useful, and not just the root of all evil. Apart from that it was interesting to hear what my sister was up to and I was happy to hear that my mom had a good time in Paris (of course). When we arrived in Ottawa, we went over to Ashley's place. She lives on the top floor of a Sandy Hill mansion that has been divided up into apartments. It is really roomy and nice. After seeing the place, we went to an Etheopian restaurant for a beer and some of the fermented flat bread. After a few minutes, the topic switched to Ashley's job. A disagreement ensued over how the reembursment money was to be split and Ashley left in a huff. The next day and a half was spent, between family engagements and seeing family friends, trying to repair the damage. Apart from that, Ottawa was fun. I got to meet Kathrine for the first time in about 10 years. She is doing law here at Queens so when things get a bit quieter I'll try to hang out with her. In other news, Patrick is becoming very popular with the ladies. Only 12 years old and he already has girls hanging off of him. wow.

I came back to Kingston on monday night and went through the short week of school focusing mainly on the two assignments due tomorrow. I am now pretty much done with both of them except for writing up a good copy to hand in. Now I have to worry about the econometrics midterm on wednesday... oh boy...

On friday night I went out to a bar with some people from my program after spending the afternoon/evening studying in the office. After a few beers this guy walks in with a t-shir that says 白人看不懂 (literally: white man see not understand - which means: white people can't understand this). Of course, I could not let this stand so I approached the guy in Chinese and told him that I was white and that I could understand his shirt. He did not really know how to take it. I guess he never expected to be called on it. I just wish I asked him where he got the shirt because I want one like that. It would be very ironicly funny.

Somehow it seems like I am struggling to put out new posts on my blog every week. I feel like, even though I am not fully familiar with Kingston, that I am settled in enough that it is not exciting anymore. On the other hand, at least I don't need to blog out my frustrations. The program is good. I handed in my first two problem sets this week. The micro one was hard but I started very early and so was quite satisfied with my answers. The econometrics one was a bit eaiser, but I left it until later and even though I like my answers, I definately don't feel as if I understand everything that is going on in that course. I know I need to sit down with my text book and my notes and figure it all out, but for a subject like this, it is hard to find the motivation.

Last weekend I judged a novice debate tournament. It was pretty fun. It is nice that after all the years I have put into debate that I am given respect for being an old debate hand. Debate is something that I have had a bit of a distant relationship with over the years. While I love the act of debating and I enjoy speaking with inteligent people about relevent issues, I never really got into the whole debate social scene. Here, however, things feel different. First, it is a bigger club. More than 30 people have showed up to each meeting I have attended so far. Second, the club seems more inclusive and less clique based than the one back at UBC. Of course, this could just be my perspective as a grad student is different from those of first year undergrads. Finally, the social aspect is more developed. After the tournament on saturday, there was a big party at Dickie's house where we all had a few drinks and went through an initiation ceremony to become official members of the club. They, or should I say we, even have a debate song.

Monday was Yom Kippur. To my surprise, the break fast meal that I had arranged through Hillel was hosted by the family of my old bunk mate at camp Kadimah, Mat. His family lives in Kingston and after university, he came back to join the family business. It is funny how small Canada is, and especially how small Jewish Canada is.

I had a phone interview with Goldman Sachs today. It was for an operations position in the Hong Kong office. I think it went ok, but I have never done a phone interview before, so I don't have anything to compare it to. The job, as I understand it, is something like what I was doing at CIBC, but instead of mortgages it is working on big investment banking deals. The problem is that even though I would get to see these deals, and process these deals, since I am not the one making them, it is somehow different from an analyst position. On the other hand, it is with Goldman Sachs.

This interview also brought up some issues about where I want to live. At some point, I definately wanted to live in Asia. It is an exciting place with lots of things going on and just being there stays interesting, at least as compared to say Kingston. Lately, however, I have been realising the importance of networks and friends. Here, because I am Canadian and through other things, I am able to make connections with people around me. I also have a (somewhat limited) network of family friends and friends of friends that are available to me. In Hong Kong, I don't know that I would be able to relate to people as well and I know that I certainly would not have any residual networks to rely upon. I guess I could overcome this through just a few friends and hopefully friendly collegues... In the end, I will cross that bridge when, and if, I get there.

Still no other interviews yet. Actually, apart from Goldman Sachs, I have only had negative responces. I think for my next round of applications, I will write more personalised cover letters. Maybe I should also start going to info sessions. I wonder if it is already too late... It still feels strange that it is only the beginning of October and I am thinking these thoughts. I haven't even written any exams yet.

Kingston is already boring me. There isn't much to eat, and not much to do either. Lately, my life has just been between class, the office and home. I need to get out and meet more people, but I have work to do and aside from econ and debate, I don't know how to meet people. The frosh process here is great at building friendships between students, but it also leaves me as feeling like a bit of an outsider. I probably should have come here as an undergrad. Oh well.. must make the most of it.