I wrote my first exam today. It was Chinese and went ok. I know I did not ace it, but after winning the speech competition, I would be very surprised if my professor gives me anything but a good mark. Writing that exam I realized again that I was the only white guy in the room, but by now I am used to it and soon will be experiencing a lot more of it.
After the exam, I went to the library and studied a bit for math. I realized that the old exams I bought from the math club only go up to december 2003, and that there have been some serious changes in the curriculum since then. I don't know what to do about this problem, so I will just study from the book and notes and hope for the best.
I have found it very hard to be interested in this math class. It is not that there is something inherantly uninteresting about matrix algebra, it is just that not knowing anyone in the class, expecially for something that does not grab my imagination, makes it very hard for me to pay attention and care. Compounding this is the knowledge that I already have one good offer of admission and funding for my master's degree next year.
On a deeper level, whenever I take math classes, or economics classes that are essentially mathematical in nature, I wonder why I am willing to put myself through this. I like economics, and I think I am interested in the jobs that an advanced degree in economics leads to, if this sort of detached mathmatical theory ever becomes a major part of my job, I can't imagine how I would enjoy it.
These thoughts have lead me to wonder whether I should change my major entirely. At this point, I essentially have a good degree in economics, but my lack of a minor may disqualify me from applying to other diciplines. I hope the time I spend in China learning Chinese will give me a better insight as to where I want to go next with my education.
I saw Rae yesterday. Seeing her can really improve my mood when I am stressed about exams and such. We tried to go to the Chinese consulate to inquire about her visa and my scholarship, but by the time we got there, they had already closed. On the plus side, I managed to reach someone with more information about the scholarship and I will meet him on thursday morning.
On the home front, Ashley and I are enjoying Rachel's trip to Toronto. While I do love and respect my sister, living with her this past year has tested the limits of what I can endure many times. At the end of this year, I just hope that I never have to live with her again.
That said, we had a good conversation on tuesday night before she left. I explained to her that I will not give equal respect to everyone. Respect is something that is to be earned and there are certain amounts of respect that go along with certain positions in society. I will, without hesitation or guilt, respect a doctor more than a manual labourer because the acts that he has done in his life to reach his life are worthy of respect. My sister's argument was that different people live by different values and all people have different original positions. I agreed with these statements by made it clear that society has a prevailing set of values and rules and I will respect those who can succeed within that framework. Ignoring the framework or wishing it did not exist is not a real option, despite the number of people who follow this idea. To the second point I said that since everyone starts from different positions, that I must take full advantage of every opportunity I have. I should do this out of respect for people in a worse position than myself. There are people thoughout the world who would give anything for the advantages of a middle class North American upbringing. For their sake and my own, I do not want to waste these advantages.
That leaves me with the same question. What should I do next?
China is calling...
After the exam, I went to the library and studied a bit for math. I realized that the old exams I bought from the math club only go up to december 2003, and that there have been some serious changes in the curriculum since then. I don't know what to do about this problem, so I will just study from the book and notes and hope for the best.
I have found it very hard to be interested in this math class. It is not that there is something inherantly uninteresting about matrix algebra, it is just that not knowing anyone in the class, expecially for something that does not grab my imagination, makes it very hard for me to pay attention and care. Compounding this is the knowledge that I already have one good offer of admission and funding for my master's degree next year.
On a deeper level, whenever I take math classes, or economics classes that are essentially mathematical in nature, I wonder why I am willing to put myself through this. I like economics, and I think I am interested in the jobs that an advanced degree in economics leads to, if this sort of detached mathmatical theory ever becomes a major part of my job, I can't imagine how I would enjoy it.
These thoughts have lead me to wonder whether I should change my major entirely. At this point, I essentially have a good degree in economics, but my lack of a minor may disqualify me from applying to other diciplines. I hope the time I spend in China learning Chinese will give me a better insight as to where I want to go next with my education.
I saw Rae yesterday. Seeing her can really improve my mood when I am stressed about exams and such. We tried to go to the Chinese consulate to inquire about her visa and my scholarship, but by the time we got there, they had already closed. On the plus side, I managed to reach someone with more information about the scholarship and I will meet him on thursday morning.
On the home front, Ashley and I are enjoying Rachel's trip to Toronto. While I do love and respect my sister, living with her this past year has tested the limits of what I can endure many times. At the end of this year, I just hope that I never have to live with her again.
That said, we had a good conversation on tuesday night before she left. I explained to her that I will not give equal respect to everyone. Respect is something that is to be earned and there are certain amounts of respect that go along with certain positions in society. I will, without hesitation or guilt, respect a doctor more than a manual labourer because the acts that he has done in his life to reach his life are worthy of respect. My sister's argument was that different people live by different values and all people have different original positions. I agreed with these statements by made it clear that society has a prevailing set of values and rules and I will respect those who can succeed within that framework. Ignoring the framework or wishing it did not exist is not a real option, despite the number of people who follow this idea. To the second point I said that since everyone starts from different positions, that I must take full advantage of every opportunity I have. I should do this out of respect for people in a worse position than myself. There are people thoughout the world who would give anything for the advantages of a middle class North American upbringing. For their sake and my own, I do not want to waste these advantages.
That leaves me with the same question. What should I do next?
China is calling...
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